12 DAYS

Over 16 years ago, I decided to make a themed christmas tree. I had no idea what I was going to do until one day I was at Macy's and on one of their trees, hung this beautiful pear. At that moment I knew - I was going to do the 12 Days of Christmas.

Throughout the years, family and friends have given me so many beautiful pears that have a home on my tree. My mom was especially great at finding them - she would just show up with one in the middle of summer or put one in my mailbox out of nowhere. My mother-in-law was amazing at finding the other ornaments like the drums and eggs or making the milk maids out of wood spools. My father-in-law, an expert wood craftsman, made the swans and the flutes. So many wonderful people contributed to this tree - it truly was a labor of love.

I've always wanted to do the 12 Days of Christmas with my kids in some way. But in doing research, I realized the idea of having a live menagerie of multiple birds and cows might have the health inspector ringing my bell and also be quite the cleanup. So I decided to do a very kid-friendly easy list so as not to shock the neighbors with wild bird calls or mooing in my yard. You're welcome.

On the first day of Christmas - I give you, well, the obvious - pears! Unfortunately, my kids and I do not embrace the pear in any way, shape, or form, but they sure look pretty.

On the second day - two turtle doves are the tradition; however, I do not even know where one gathers said doves. But the checkout line at Target helped me!

On the third day of Christmas - three french hens. I do apologize for the uh, downer this might inflict, but it seemed apropos. Please note that no hens were actually hurt in the making of this soup. At least not by me. But to make the season more merry, let's call it Tofurkey Soup.

On the fourth day - four calling birds - that was easy....we decided to call family and friends that we haven't spoken to in a while.

On the fifth day, I give you five golden rings....um...pineapple rings. They're gold colored, right?

For the sixth day - six geese a laying. I still feel bad about the soup from the third day, so I went a different route.

On the seventh day - guess what? MORE birds! I think if I were the recipient of these gifts back then, I might be a tad annoyed, because now I would have to build a pen, collect eggs, wrangle a partridge that was pecking at my neighbors, and cage up doves and calling birds who constantly squawk. Not to mention making sure the geese and swans have a water source.

My swans did swim - back in November in Disney - so I count that. It was either this or throw them into a bath.

The eighth day was a no-brainer - hot chocolate and milk chocolate Lindt truffles. The reason you don't see the truffles is because they are all gone. I might be the one to blame for that. I might have a problem. But I digress....

For nine ladies dancing - I had intentions of recruiting eight close friends and myself to do the Electric Slide in my living room, but decided to spare that embarrassment. The problem I did have was not knowing any Lords. Or Lords that leap for that matter - so I put on the Nutcracker Ballet to watch - which showed both dancing and leaping. You can say I killed two birds with one stone in this scenario (which I'm sure at some point the girl who received all these birds back then might have done)!

For the 11th day, pipers are few and far between, so I attempted to make cupcakes and pipe icing on them. Now, I've mentioned before that I am not a baker - and I absolutely hate icing - especially if it's put in a bag, and I have to make something resembling...well, anything. Something in the cogs and wheels of my brain doesn't connect to the hand-eye coordination that is decorating. But I was ambitious and decided to make Eggnog cupcakes from scratch.

In hindsight, I should have bought cupcakes and just drank the nog.

I'm not sure what I did or did not do, but the first batch literally didn't cook in the oven. How is that even possible at 350 degrees for 40 minutes? What I got was a pool of what could only be described as a wet, gelatinous, scientific unknown mass. So I did another batch - and I left them in a little longer than told, rendering them a little cardboard-esque, but edible. Side note - directions are printed for a reason and should be followed carefully.

And finally on the 12th day - drummers drumming. For this one, I decided to go back in time and show my kids a one outrageous Phil Collins....and his "In The Air Tonight" drum riff which is in a word - awesome!

Well, that wraps up my 12 Days. I must admit the original version of this song, with the true love's intention is sweet - but maybe for that time period. If you were actually to do that today, make sure you're part of the Audubon Society, or have a farm. I suggest auditioning out your dancers and leapers and find the nearest marching band for your pipers and drummers! Otherwise stick to a nice piece of jewelry for your gal.....it would be way more appreciated!

I wish you all the peace and joy this holiday season can bring you and yours.

Till next year...